19 January, 2014

But seriously.

Why do you park on a driveway, but drive on a parkway?

Does it count as waxing my granite countertops if I tip my warmer full of hot wax all over them?

If vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Why do people say they appreciate what you do, but then resent you for it?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why do some people offer their help but then hold it over your head when you accept?

Do cannibals think clowns taste funny?

Why can Husband paint cars all day but then bitch about the smell of my nail lacquer?

What was Captain Hook called before he had a hook for a hand?

Why do the numbers on a phone go down but the numbers on a calculator go up?

Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla beans are brown?

Why do they say 'new and improved'? It can't be both.

If Mars has an earthquake, would it be called a marsquake?

If someone has a stutter, do they stutter when thinking to themselves?


  1. Gah, you just gave me so much to think about! Especially the pizza one. I never thought about that!!

    Related kind of to the last question, my friend Alyson was recently in Scotland and found that she started thinking to herself in a Scottish accent which I just think is so cool!

    1. That is awesome! I am so going to Scotland. I want a Scottish accent, even if it's only in my head.

  2. Tyrone constantly complains about the smell of my nail polish. I want to dump my polish remover all over him when he does.

    1. Right?! It's so obnoxious. I'm like, I don't like the smell of your feet but I don't make you take them off and put them in the bathroom. Ffs.


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