There is a line that exists when raising a child - the line between being supportive of your child and their choices, and making sure they don't end up that ridiculous person on American Idol who seriously thinks they can sing but sounds like a cat in heat.
That line is much, much fuzzier when you are a stepparent. Plus, there are more lines that as a parent, you just don't have to deal with. How much should I try to do? Where do I step in and help? Do I try to be her additional Mom or do I step back and just be a side-note?
The hard thing is, as a stepparent, you almost have to overcompensate because people expect you to be this terrible person who can't love someone else's child and treats them accordingly. But where does the line come into play? Am I going overboard going with Punk and BioMom to California for cheer nationals? Is it too much for me to be put on the email list for her cheer squad? Is that something I should be standing back and letting BioMom tell me all the details? I have a hard time letting someone else have any play in my life when I cannot control it. But am I over-stepping as stepmom?
Lately Punk has had this sort-of 'better than you' attitude towards other people (everyone, really; even the Husband), and it really gets to me. I never wanted to raise a child that was arrogant or stuck up or felt like she was better than others. But how much can I even contribute to who she becomes? I try to be a good example, but what more can I do? I definitely don't want to start problems or point fingers or make it seem like I'm blaming anyone, because I'm not. But I find myself getting annoyed with it, quickly; partly because it's a terrible attitude to have and partly because there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.
I've had to come to terms with stepping back. It's actually part of my 2013 plan (I made a resolution to be happy; that's it) - to step back and relax a little. To not be so hard on myself and not get myself down for the littlest things. I spent all of my day off Monday reading. In fact, I've read four books already this year. I read instead of cleaning sometimes, and it's nice. I reorganized my sanctuary to feel better when I'm in there. And this weekend, I'm going to buy fabric and make myself a blanket with the sewing machine I got for Christmas. I'm not going to worry about things that are out of my control, especially in the stepparenting realm. Because, really, when it comes down to it... there's nothing more I can be doing than what I'm already doing. And I need to learn to be okay with that.