Why is it that the bad things always stick in peoples' minds, but it takes something extraordinarily good to stick as well? In a group of people, whether it's a group of step-parents, or account managers, or grocery shoppers, or whatever, there are always one or two people that ruin it for everyone else. Why is it so hard to just step back and realize that everyone else deserves respect, just as much as you do? Everyone is so quick to place judgment or blame on whomever else is there, just because they don't want to face the fact that maybe, it's just them.
Where I work, there are a few individuals on the team of account managers that rush to blame the production team, or rush to criticize them over something, when in actuality it is their own fault. Or when someone makes a mistake (which is awfully HUMAN of them, I guess) and they get so mad. Who doesn't make mistakes? I know I do. All of that makes our fantastic production team HATE all of the account managers. Which is sad for me, because I realize they are the ones that get my crap done. I feel like it would be the same working in a restaurant - one waiter or waitress that treats the cooks like crap, and the rest of them get to pay the price; slow food or mess-ups because the cooks hate the waiters, all because one person refused to believe that in their job, keeping the cooks happy is just as important as keeping the customers happy.
And it's totally the same in the step-parent world. I know there are bad step-parents out there. I have met a few in my life, and I know of many others. But I also know there are so many good ones that don't get a fair shake at the step-parent gig, because of the stigma the bad ones have put out there. I recently joined a forum specifically for step-moms. I was so excited to have a place to share what I go through, and hear other stories, to make my life feel a little more normal. What I really saw, was a bunch of women rushing to point the finger at the bio-moms. And as much as the road I've had with Real Mom has been a rough one, we are finally to a point where I think we are working together fairly well. The last thing I want to do is sit and read stories where EVERYTHING is the bio-mom's fault. Really? Everything? I have never met a perfect person before; WOW! It's so nice to meet you! [insert eye roll here] I get that some bio-moms are not great moms, but in all reality, all of us screw up sometimes, and all of us get short-tempered sometimes, and all of us are bad parents sometimes. It happens.
Why is it in human nature to turn and point the finger elsewhere?
Do I sound annoyed? I am. And I'm sorry. But if I don't let it out here, I will let it out to my colleagues who may or may not be part of the source of my frustration, and that might not be good.
Thanks for listening. :P