You know the biggest question I get about this blog? What if 'real mom' finds it? What if she reads the things I've written? To be completely honest, it was never a concern to me. At least that way she would know what I was feeling without there having to be a heated discussion, or a full-on fight, to bring it out.
Well, she found it. And I wasn't scared. It actually opened the door to a conversation we probably should have had years ago. She and I have never had the chance to sit down and just talk to each other - I was hurt by some of the things she had done in the past and was absolutely not interested in trying to be friends with someone that, without better words, made my relationship with Husband HELL through the first six months. I've never had to fight so hard for something to stay consistent in my life.
But it was really good. We got some things straightened out, and things have definitely been easier since. We found out that our sweet little girl might have a small lying problem, and it's been hurting both sides of the relationship. Things are a little different than what I've been told, and I'm pretty sure it's the same way on the other side as well. Hopefully us fixing this will help with the lying.
'Real mom' and me are two very different people. I don't know that we'll ever be BFF's or whatever, but I do know it's a lot easier now than it was before. A lot of my resentment aimed at her is gone. All in all, it was good for us but ultimately really good for Punk. And that makes me happy.
On a somewhat unrelated note, 'real mom' got Punk a cell phone. And it scares me. I know the reasons and I know it was needed and I'm not upset about her having a phone, but knowing that she has one means that she's growing up. And that's what scares me! I don't want her to know how to text, because it means she's getting older. And smarter. And more mature. And more of her own person. (And closer to being a teenager... but that's an entirely different issue.) When did she get so big? We went to her dance recital last night, and she's such a good dancer. It made me so proud of her. She's going to be 9 in a few weeks! When did that happen? How did it happen so fast? Where did the time go? Is it always like this? Do you always lose the years so quickly? How do you make it slow down, or just stop entirely?