15 May, 2010

And Then It Happened

You know the biggest question I get about this blog? What if 'real mom' finds it? What if she reads the things I've written? To be completely honest, it was never a concern to me. At least that way she would know what I was feeling without there having to be a heated discussion, or a full-on fight, to bring it out.

Well, she found it. And I wasn't scared. It actually opened the door to a conversation we probably should have had years ago. She and I have never had the chance to sit down and just talk to each other - I was hurt by some of the things she had done in the past and was absolutely not interested in trying to be friends with someone that, without better words, made my relationship with Husband HELL through the first six months. I've never had to fight so hard for something to stay consistent in my life.

But it was really good. We got some things straightened out, and things have definitely been easier since. We found out that our sweet little girl might have a small lying problem, and it's been hurting both sides of the relationship. Things are a little different than what I've been told, and I'm pretty sure it's the same way on the other side as well. Hopefully us fixing this will help with the lying.

'Real mom' and me are two very different people. I don't know that we'll ever be BFF's or whatever, but I do know it's a lot easier now than it was before. A lot of my resentment aimed at her is gone. All in all, it was good for us but ultimately really good for Punk. And that makes me happy.

On a somewhat unrelated note, 'real mom' got Punk a cell phone. And it scares me. I know the reasons and I know it was needed and I'm not upset about her having a phone, but knowing that she has one means that she's growing up. And that's what scares me! I don't want her to know how to text, because it means she's getting older. And smarter. And more mature. And more of her own person. (And closer to being a teenager... but that's an entirely different issue.) When did she get so big? We went to her dance recital last night, and she's such a good dancer. It made me so proud of her. She's going to be 9 in a few weeks! When did that happen? How did it happen so fast? Where did the time go? Is it always like this? Do you always lose the years so quickly? How do you make it slow down, or just stop entirely?


  1. I'm glad it ended up being a good thing. I think it's sort of relief when it happens.

    One of my super vindictive coworkers, who has been a plague at our job, turned my blog into my bosses. It was on a post where we were taking some pictures in the office, during our break. They weren't inappropriate or anything.

    Nothing happened, I just got talked to about being careful. But honestly, I have to say, it's a relief knowing people know, and I'm OK.

  2. Glad it turned out well. You both have that little girl in common and want whats best for her. That is great. Funny because when it comes to this big wide internet media thing I am not that comfortable with sharing stuff related to people or too much private stuff about myself. But I am older and a little more skeptical of what folks will do with all that ammo. I am glad it worked out for you!

  3. You are a 'real mom' too Kendahl!!

  4. I am glad that things got worked out. If just for Punk. You are a good Mommy!

  5. glad it all went well. It does make a difference. I talked to one of my step daughters moms one day on the phone for 3 hours..it went well and made some things little easier. life can sure get complicated can't it. good luck..

    and yes they grow up way to fast!!!

  6. Nine was the turning point for my stepson, and for a number of my other kids as well. There is a reason people coined "tween". I remember so well when stepson got a cell phone. It also meant he was growing up, but it was the beginning of the end of our dealing directly with biomom on a lot of things. She has never found my blog, and I wish I could say it would help, but it won't. We are already at 16, and after 12 years of my being in the picture there is as much venom coming my way as always.... so sad. Said 16 yo just does almost everything directly through us. Easier for me, sadder for him. Enjoy 9, savor it, because somehow it seems to all go faster and faster!

  7. What if you are not comfortable with being "friendly" to the "real mom" because of past abuse she did towards the ex/kids? Or her flaking on the kids,when she says she will do something,or giving them presents and then taking them back? How do you deal with that and not want to just PUNCH her? Its very difficult,like she thinks no one know what she has done to hubby and the boys in the past,and continues to do. Aaaaagh! Help!!


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